Saturday, July 29, 2017

Hitler, Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, and Wee Wee's World

Hitler, Reservoir Dogs, and Wee Wee's World

There's a scene in Wee Wee's World that's similar to a scene in Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.  Now, my book hasn't been made into a movie (yet), but I can tell you that just by reading the below excerpt you'll see the similarity in the scene.  However, I honestly believe the scene I wrote is way more original than what Tarantino wrote in Reservoir Dogs.

Anyway, in Reservoir Dogs, there's a scene where Michael Madsen tapes a cop's mouth who's tied to a chair.  Madsen turns on the radio and the popular song "Stuck in the Middle with You" starts playing, at which point Madsen cuts off the cops ear.  Here's the scene, which is probably the best scene in the movie: 

Now in scene below, Wee Wee sets up a dream for Leonard where he confronts Hitler.  Tell me if you can't see the similarity.  Imagine what this scene would look like in a movie.   

Here it is:

Then out of nowhere, I heard the faint sound of high heels from a distance.  Hitler even turned his head to see what it was.  As I'm looking in the direction of the sound, it's getting louder, and I can see three black ladies in elegant, glittery nightgowns walking towards me. 

The women stand next to Hitler.  The lady in the middle counted off “A one…a two…a one, two, three, four.”

The ladies started a dance routine and snapped their fingers like some backup singers.  

They started singing in a beautiful three-part harmony:
Hitler is a jerk,
Hitler is a jerk,
Mr. Tiny pulled his weenie
Now it doesn't work.

I laughed and applauded their singing. “Wow, that was groovy.” 

I got up and danced in front of Hitler with the nail gun in my hand while the ladies sang chorus after chorus of the same little tune.

While I danced around Hitler, I nonchalantly popped a nail or two in him.  The best part about the whole thing was hearing him scream every time a nail entered his body.  Sometimes I’d hit him with four or five nails at once just to hear him scream louder.

After the fiftieth chorus, I must have put two hundred nails in Hitler, mostly in his legs and his arms because I didn't want to puncture any vital organs that could’ve killed him instantly. 

The singers’ act was coming to a close.  They kept singing the tune while they walked backward away from me and Hitler.  Their voices got softer and softer the further away they walked.  Eventually, they were gone and it was just me and Hitler again.

Hitler struggled to stay conscious. 

I sat down on the chair and said to him, “Okay, jerk, this is your last chance to tell me why you killed millions of people.  I know Mr. Tiny pulled your weenie and now it doesn't work, but if you don't give me an honest answer in the next thirty seconds, your heart won't work either.” 

“You stupid fool,” he spat out. “You have no idea who your son is or what he is capable of.  Wee Wee made me do it.  He made me kill millions of people, you Jew cocksucker.  Go ahead and ask him.  And put me out of my fucking misery.”  I pulled off his gas mask and he keeled over.  He died from the Zyklon B in the air, the same Zyklon B that Hitler used in his concentration camps to asphyxiate Jews.

Greg Groovie 

10 Reasons Why Leonard Litkovitz is the Biggest Loser Dad on The Planet

10 Reasons Why Wee Wee's Dad, Leonard Litkovitz, is The Biggest Loser Dad

1.  Leonard's sperm donor dad sold him for a penny to get out of paying child support.
2.  Leonard abuses his Ativan anxiety medication because he over thinks everything, OCD.  Loser.
3.  Leonard isn't really a killer.  Wee Wee just makes him think he is.  
4.  Leonard can't discipline his own son.  (This one's borderline too.  It's hard to discipline a killer 
     ventriloquist dummy).
5.  Wee Wee video tapes his sexual encounters, so Leonard can spank his monkey while watching them.
6.  Leonard rationalizes his wife getting fucked by Wee Wee as karma for masturbating to online porn and
     Wee Wee's sex videos.
7.  The kids at Leonard's junior high school throw there lunches at him, and an apple breaks his nose while
     giving his ventriloquist dummy act at the talent competition.  What a loser.
8.  Leonard can't hold a job.  (This one is borderline).
9.  Leonard doesn't know how to please his wife.  Maybe that's why Wee Wee boinks her.
10.  Leonard sucks Wee Wee's cock, and let's Wee Wee cum in his mouth.  It's not what you think?

And there you have it, folks.

Get your copy of Wee Wee's World now.  It'll make you shit.

- Greg Groovie

10 Reasons Why Wee Wee is The Friendliest Killer Ventriloquist Dummy You'll Ever Meet

Why Wee Wee is the Friendliest Killer Ventriloquist Dummy You'll Ever Meet?

1.  He pleases convalescent men and women before euthanizing them.  What a dummy.
2.  He gives Leonard's wife a courtesy fuck in front of him.  What a dummy.
3.  He frees a spirit from Leonard's spirit portal painting.  What a dummy.
4.  He takes his sister to her prom.  What a dummy.
5.  He kills all the students at his sister's prom for embarrassing her.  What a dummy.
6.  He teaches Pierre, the spirit, how to do an awesome moon walk.  What a dummy.
7.  He cuts Leonard's hand off to teach him a valuable lesson not to over think.  What a dummy.
8.  He kills pigs.  What a dummy.
9.  You wouldn't know the difference between the friendliest killer dummy and the meanest killer dummy.
10. He never takes a shit, which frees up the bathroom and saves toilet paper.  What a dummy.

Leonard is Wee Wee's Dad, in case you didn't know.

Wee Wee's World, because life's too short to hate the friendliest killer ventriloquist dummy.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Yes, Mr. Furie, I Stole Your Spirit Portal Painting, "Pierre" for My Book

That's Right, I Stole Greg Furie's "Pierre" Spirit Portal Painting for My Book

So what?  I pissed off this dude, Greg Furie.  What's he gonna do about it?  Nothing, that's what.

This guy is pissed off at the world because nobody believed in his spirit portal painting, "Pierre."  He did have the balls to ask $54 million for it.  Here's the press release from 2015.


I turned "Pierre" into a character in my book, Wee Wee's World.  It was too good an idea to pass up.  

In the book, Leonard paints the painting, "Pierre," and Wee Wee conjures the spirit out of it.  

Pierre does a mean moon walk and loves to kill.  I liken him to a sci-fi Iceman, Richard Kuklinski. Who is Richard Kuklinski?  The Iceman, baby.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kuklinsk

Hey, I did Furie a favor.  He wanted $54 million for "Pierre."  In Wee Wee' World, it sold for $1 billion at Sotheby's.

There's your 15 minutes of fame, Mr. Furie.

- Greg Groovie, Author of Wee Wee's World



Wednesday, July 26, 2017

I Wrote Wee Wee's World for Me, Not You

It Makes No Difference to Me What You Think About My Book

Why did I write Wee Wee's World?  I wrote it for my benefit.  I could care less if I sell one copy.  Because the real reward was in the writing of the novel, not the acceptance of it.

I had personal reasons for writing it that had nothing to do with how popular it becomes.

So basically, all these posts and all the marketing I've done for the book is a bunch of bullshit.

I wrote Wee Wee's World because I was tired of all the shitty movies on TV and all the shitty novels that aren't worth opening one page to read, even novels written by famous writers like Stephen King.

To me, Wee Wee's World blows away anything written by Stephen King.

And do you know what?  My opinion is the only one that matters.

There's no way you can refute that.  And that's the truth.

Greg Groovie


"I'd Love to Feel Your Lips Wrapped Around My Cock," Is This Why My Press Release was Declined?

1888PressRelease - Your press release "Greg Groovie Makes No Apologies for His Offensive Psychological Dark Horror Novel, Wee Wee's World" has been declined

I recently submitted a press release for my book Wee Wee's World.  It got declined.  Why?  I have my suspicions.  Maybe it wasn't newsworthy or formatted wrong.  Maybe I listed it under the wrong category. 
No, I think it was probably because of my quote from the book, "I'd love to feel your lips wrapped around my cock."  That's newsworthy, isn't it?  

Read the Press Release Here.

Let me me know why you think the release was denied because I really have no idea.

Here it is:

Greg Groovie, Author of Wee Wee’s World, makes no apologies to anybody including minorities, LGBT’s, and the elderly for the highly offensive content in the psychologically damaging dark horror comedy novel.  Oh yeah, this is definitely newsworthy.

Groovie wrote the novel because he got tired of the same old boring regurgitated shit he keeps reading in other novels.  “Too much detail, and not enough story,” Groovie said. 

Here’s a statement that Groovie made about the book:

“Wee Wee's World is a psychological horror novel about the relationship between Leonard Litkovitz and his killer ventriloquist dummy son, Wee Wee.  When writing this novel, I wanted to write something that stood out from all the other meaningless drivel that is out there.  This story cuts right to the chase and doesn't hold anything back.  It is irreverent, offensive, immoral, and downright filthy in some areas, but I make no apologies for it.  If you don't like it, piss off.  Otherwise, enjoy the ride.”

“Now I know that sound kind of harsh, but keep in mind that this is a horror novel, so you should expect those things mentioned above.  There’s a lot of spontaneous humor that goes along with the offensive content too,” says Groovie.

Early in the book there’s a chapter about a homosexual who tries to get Leonard to give him a blow job.  He says to Leonard, “I’d love to feel your lips wrapped around my cock.”  Groovie interjects, “Does that statement sound familiar, all you homos?”  Leonard reacts by stabbing the faggot’s penis until it’s shredded beef.  Groovie adds, “I hate to say this, but let’s call a spade a spade.  If a homosexual can take another man’s package in his rear end, how’s it possible that anything I write about could be offensive?  I mean, chances are, if you’re homosexual you or one of your friends probably rubbed your leg against some poor bastard’s leg in a Jacuzzi who’s having an identity crisis, am I right?  And you probably tried to take advantage of him.  Am I right?  Of course I’m right?  It’s human nature.  Look, I have nothing against homosexuals.  I have friends who are homosexual.  No problem, just stay in your own lane.  To my credit, and I don’t need to add this, but when I was younger I had a bad experience with a homosexual.  I had an identity crisis at the time and got taken advantage of.  Don’t worry, I take responsibility for the part I played.  Anyway, I turned that experience into a chapter in the book.  No hard feelings, right?”

Just to show that Groovie is impartial to homosexuals, in the latter part of the novel, Wee Wee invites Leonard into a dream.  A group of elderly men and women in their 80’s and 90’s are circled around Wee Wee.  They’re all in wheel chairs.  It’s Wee Wee’s make a last wish foundation, and these elderly folks made this last wish:  Before getting euthanized by Wee Wee, each person gets to suck his 10” schlong.  “Dr. Kevorkian would have been proud of that chapter.  My intent is not to offend elderly folks.  Heck, maybe you’d like a chair in Wee Wee’s circle when it’s time to make your last wish,” added Groovie.

Groovie finished with this comment.  “You’ll find the offensiveness against more minorities when you read the book, but take it lightly.  It is a horror novel, after all.  You can get your copy of it at Amazon, Kindle, or Goodreads.  And remember, don’t lose your sense of humor.”

And that’s a wrap.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

My Name is Ildo, But You Can Call Me Dildo

Ildo, Dildo, I Don't Care

Ildo is an old friend of Leonard's from the Middle Ages who shows up in Leonard's dreams.  Ildo tells Leonard who he is to kill next.  (Leonard is Wee Wee's dad).

The problem is that Ildo is an illusion.  

Wee Wee is pissed off because Leonard left Wee Wee in the attic for 20 years, so he makes Leonard believe that Ildo is an executioner friend of his.

Back in the day, Leonard made fun of Ildo by calling him Dildo.

That's it.

What did you expect?  A long dissertation about Dildos? 

It's Sunday.  Go back to bed.

10 Things Wee Wee's World Won't Do For You and 1 Thing It Will

10 Things Wee Wee's World Won't Do For You

1.  It won't make you a better salesman/saleswoman.
2.  It won't cure your depression.
3.  It won't make you a better person.
4.  It won't make the world a better place.
5.  It won't make you a better lover.
6.  It won't inspire you to reach your goals.
7.  It won't make you smarter.
8.  It won't make you want to purchase a ventriloquist dummy, so you can have a son.
9.  It won't motivate you.
10.  It won't make you say, "Wow, that was a great book."

1 Thing It Will Do For You

1.  It'll set you back $9.99

Purchase your copy here Wee Wee's World.






Saturday, July 22, 2017

ANNABELLE: CREATION: The Comments Posted are Way Better Than The Trailer

I Think The People Commenting on Annabelle:  Creation Should Make The Next Sequel.  It Would Probably Be A Kick Ass Movie

You've got to go to this you tube link to watch the trailer for Annabelle:  Creation.


The trailer is ok, but what really caught my interest are the comments about the trailer and the previous Annabelle movies.

Personally, I think the commentators should get together, and make the next Annabelle movie.

Many of these comments are humorous, and ironically, I think humor is the one main ingredient missing in this movie.  Imagine that.

I'm going to post some of the comments below, but I'd like to make one point very clear.  I could go to many, if not all, psychological horror trailers, and do the same thing I'm doing here.

The problem with "Hollywood' is that it thinks the only way to make money from a movie is to increase the special effects, and go over board with editing.  It's like the story is at the bottom of the list of importance, even in books.

And then I paid close attention to the comments under this trailer.  They're fucking funny and would most likely add a lot to the story line.

I have a good idea.  Why don't producers and studios put out a trailer before a movie is made.  That way, they can incorporate some of the brilliant commentary into the movie that's under the movie trailer.

Food for thought, isn't it?

"Can't fucking wait!! Always wanted to fuck annabelle wait wut?"

"Why it's R rated??? what's wrong with Hollywood"

"Annabelle vs Chucky: Civil War"

"Rated R for Retarded!"

"i hope Pinocchio will be in this movie"

Maybe Annabelle should've gotten fucked in this sequel.  Maybe the father had a hard on for demonic dolls and likes to fuck them doggystyle.

A cameo by Pinocchio would have been hilarious.  Maybe he could of fucked Annabelle.

Anyway, I'd be stupid if I didn't endorse my new psychological horror novel, Wee Wee's World.  It's loaded with spontaneous humor, and when it's time to make a movie, I'll be more than happy to put up a trailer for comments before the actual movie comes out.


- Greg Groovie

Friday, July 21, 2017

I Laugh at Stephen King Novels Because Wee Wee's World is The King of Psychological Horror!!!

Nothing Comes Remotely Close to The Psychological Horror Novel, Wee Wee's World

Have you ever noticed how movies based on Stephen King novels are always better than the novels he writes?  Well I have.

Listen, I'm not gonna bore you with a bunch of bullshit.

All I want to say is that Wee Wee's World is the Arnold Schwarzenegger of psychological horror novels.

I don't need to link up to it.  You'll find it.

You've never read a psychological horror novel until you've read Wee Wee's World.

Yeah, I know you think you're a book connoisseur.  Good for you.

I know you love lots of details, and read what everybody else is reading.  It's called the Herd Theory.

You're a cow going in the same direction all your buddies are going in.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.  Do yo thang.

But don't you ever tell me that Wee Wee's World isn't the greatest psychological horror novel of all time.

It's the Muhammad Ali of psychological horror novels.

Now fuck off, and enjoy your evening.

- Greg Groovie


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Let's Face It; All's We Really Want is to Eat, Sleep, Feel No Pain, Have Sex, and Kill People

Let's Be Real for A Change

The only thing we really want in life is to eat, sleep, feel no pain, have sex, and kill people.  

Think about it for a minute.  Then tell me I'm wrong.

Sure, we need to take a shit, talk, fart, work, watch TV, work out, and drive our cars.

But when it comes down to what we want, it's to eat, sleep, feel no pain, have sex, and kill people.

Now you can eat whatever you want, you can sleep as many hours as you want, and theirs plenty of medicine to feel no pain.  And sex?  It's not something you need to do if you think about it.  No, you want to get your rocks off because it feels so good.

And what's the one thing we can't do, but desperately want to do?  Well that's kill people.

Why don't we kill people?  Because we think we'll get caught, and we don't want to spend the rest of our lives in jail.  Not that that is what would happen if you killed somebody, but just the thought of the worst possible scenario prevents us from doing the dirt deed.

Before I get to deep philosophically,  I found out something about myself after writing Wee Wee's World.  I can live vicariously through Leonard and Wee Wee to satisfy my desire to kill.  Sure, it's not as good as the real thing, but what choice do I have?  That's not to say I still don't have a choice.  But it's fear that make us by books and watch movies about characters we wish we could be.  Put your ego aside.  You know I'm right.

Get your copy of Wee Wee's World here.  It's worth every fucking penny.   


Here's exactly why you need to buy the book:

Wee Wee's World is a psychological horror novel about the relationship between Leonard Litkovitz and his ventrilquist dummy son, Wee Wee.  When writing this story, I wanted to write something that stood out from all the other meaningless drivel that is out there.  This story cuts right to the chase and doesn't hold anything back.  I tis irreverent, offensive, immoral, and downright filthy in some areas, but I make no apologies for it.  If you don't like it, piss off.  Otherwise, enjoy the ride.

Greg Groovie






If You Don't Buy Your Copy of Wee Wee's World You're Going Against The Fucking Herd

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35690014-wee-wee-s-world

Don't go against the herd.  Be a good little cow, and click the above link, and buy the book.

I know you can do it.

That's it.

See?

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Wee Wee's World on Buzz Feed

Post Reply to An Article on Buzz Feed About 20 Homophobic Things Straight People Still Say By Accident.  I addressed the authors, Davi Rocha and Victor Nascimento

https://www.buzzfeed.com/davirocha/stop-it?utm_term=.apgbZxZj0#.fkROkdk2W

You're kidding me, right, Davi and Victor? The LGBT crowd could give a shit about what homophobic people or straight people think. How do I know that? Because I've been hit on by faggots in my teens and twenties when they new damn well I was straight. They could give a shit about what I thought, so please. This is nothing but a bunch of hyped bullshit.

You need to read chapter five of Wee Wee's World. It's called The Pterodactyl from Hell. And that's what a faggot acts like around a heterosexual man. Isn't that right, Davi and Victor?

Wee Wee's World is a psychological horror novel about the relationship between Leonard Litkovitz and his killer ventriloquist dummy son, Wee Wee. When writing this story, I wanted to write something that stood out from all the other meaningless drivel that is out there. This story cuts right to the chase and doesn’t hold anything back. It is irreverent, offensive, immoral, and downright filthy in some areas, but I make no apologies for it. If you don’t like it, fuck off. Otherwise, enjoy the ride.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35690014-wee-wee-s-world

Sunday, July 16, 2017

I Would've Never Killed My Dad in Real Life Although He Dies in The Novel

I'd Kill Myself Before Killing My Dad, Except in Wee Wee's World

In one of the chapters, Leonard kills his dad.  His dad adopted Leonard after the "Sperm Donor" sold Leonard and his siblings for a penny to his mom and Step Dad, who adopts Leonard and his siblings.

When you write a book like this, you let out all the stops.  It's almost like some force of nature is doing the writing, and that force is not the person I am.  Or is it?

My dad adopted me when I was young, and yes, my "Sperm Donor" dad sold me and my siblings for a penny to get the child support lien taken off his credit reports.  The lien was over $150,000 for four kids.

My dad who adopted me was the kindest, most loving human being I've ever known.  It's hard for me to imagine somebody like him existed on this fucking planet, but he did.

And Leonard, who's one of my alter ego's in Wee Wee's World, kills him.  

It's something a psychopath would do, but Leonard isn't a psychopath.  It's really Wee Wee who does the killing through Leonard in the earlier chapters.

By why did Leonard have to kill the one man who really took care of him while he grew up, his dad.  Fuck.

About Wee Wee's World

Wee Wee's World is a psychological horror novel about the relationship between Leonard Litkovitz and his ventriloquist dummy son, Wee Wee. When writing this story, I wanted to write something that stood out from all the other meaningless drivel that is out there. This story cuts right to the chase and doesn't hold anything back. It is irreverent, offensive, immoral, and downright filthy in some areas, but I make no apologies for it. If you don't like it, fuck off.  Otherwise, enjoy the ride.  - Greg Groovie

Purchase Wee Wee's World




Saturday, July 15, 2017

Wee Wee's World is Ready for You. Come and Get It!!!

It's finally here, folks.
Get your hot off the press copy of Wee Wee's World, Greg Groovie's masterpiece here:

You won't stop reading until you finish the book.  I promise.

Greg Groovie

Buy Your Copy of Wee Wee's World Now!!!

It's finally here, folks.
Get your hot off the press copy of Wee Wee's World, Greg Groovie's masterpiece here:

You won't stop reading until you finish the book.  I promise.

Greg Groovie

Why I Wrote Wee Wee's World, The Greatest Psychological Horror Novel Ever Written

Wee Wee's World, The Greatest Psychological Horror Novel Ever Written

Wee Wee's World is a psychological horror novel about the relationship between Leonard Litkovitz and his killer ventriloquist dummy son, Wee Wee.  When writing this novel, I wanted to write something that stood out from all the other meaningless drivel that is out there.  This story cuts right to the chase and doesn't hold anything back.  It is irreverent, offensive, immoral, and downright filthy in some areas, but I make no apologies for it.  If you don't like it, fuck off.  Otherwise, enjoy the ride.

Greg Groovie



My Critique of Roberta Smith's Review of Richard Gerstl and His Art

Read my entertaining article about Roberta Smith's art review of the brilliant Richard Gerstl http://www.pierrespirit.com/2017/08/obv...